this life lost a whole lot
           of meaning, without you in it

wait, no
that’s not right

how ’bout:

this life is worth a whole lot
           less, without you in it

no, no
closer, but no

let’s try:

this life is hardly worth
           living, without you in it

ugh—hold on
that’s not it, either

maybe:

this life, unfortunately
           will go on, without you in it

unh-unh—all true
but not hitting the spot, y’know?

possibly:

this life is so
           empty, without you in it

oh my Almighty Blah
you can’t be serious—furthest yet!

bring it back home:

this life… this life…

(juxtapositional—
for example:

how you once
saw/thought of/felt for me,
           versus
how you’ll never
see/think of/feel for me
again)

fuck—i don’t know;
i’m far off the path,
emphatically lost,
well in the weeds,
at a total loss
for words…

thinking through some “wise” words of others,

one said:

“life, uh, finds a way”

another:

“until they came and went,
i never realized how alone i was”

a third:

“she took from me what i was,
then asked me who i am”

who am i?
do you still want to know?
what am i?
are you sure you’re ready?
what i am?—really?

ok, you got it:

i am so sick of watching the sunrise
(the same one we shared so many times)
with you no longer by my side,
me no longer by yours;
us, no longer together…

[the crickets’ chirps hold no answers—
at least, none i have yet been able
to decipher or comprehend]

…
……
………
…………
……
………

           wait!—

i got it:

           “you gave this life something i cannot define,

[why trample with words—
haven’t i trampled beauty enough already?]

                      nor can i see how one could ever want to.”